sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
