Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
