I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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