you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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