Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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