Moan for me like Helen Keller
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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