I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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