I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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