is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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