Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
