Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
