Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
