there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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