and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
