wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
