If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
