Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
