I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
