What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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