never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize