At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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