how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
