Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
