discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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