good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize