I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
did i walk over a car last night?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
