First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
