IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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