Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
