New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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