Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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