i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
