jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
