I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
