why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
