Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize