wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
