Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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