my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
