lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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