Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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