You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
