RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
