Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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