Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
