I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
