speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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