we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
