Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize