So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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