Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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