Are we in a gay sports bar?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
