I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
