I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
