Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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