I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
