i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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