all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
