my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm passing your future prison.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
