Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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