During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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