he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
