I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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