Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
