Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
