bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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