we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
