Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
