Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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